Day -95 : A Philosophical Idiot

Full moon in the cold clear sky this AM

Sunday, January 24, 2016
Miles to go: 2,663

I read the beginning of Matthew this morning. I am appalled by the way God allows tragedy to strike the town of Bethlehem. The Magi leave secretly, causing Herod to be furious. This sets off a string of events. Including the 'slaughter of the innocents'. This disturbs me in that God appears willing to sacrifice those innocent babies while protecting his own Son. My falleness makes me feel like this isn't just. That those poor families ought to have been protected.

This causes me to feel exposed and vulnerable. God is not squeamish or sentimental in his preferences. He shows grace on those whom he chooses to show grace and he lets evil men's sinful rebellion destroy and pillage fellow men without any apparent action on His part.

I have heard the case made that we are all sinners and under a curse. I believe that to be true. Yet, I am still struck dumb by God's lack of interference in the evil plans of the powerful.

This, more than anything else, convinces me of the after life. If justice is never resolved then God is not good. Since I believe he is good, then it is with a flawed sense of justice that I see the workings of the world. I know my sense of justice is flawed because it doesn't take much for someone of a philosophical bent to tie me up in my own words when I try to articulate my own moral beliefs.

For most of my life, my lack of moral certainty has caused me to keep my beliefs to myself. I think that I have been wrong most of my life, and prideful. I would rather have people think me smart than to reveal my own philosophical idiocy.

One of the cool things about being human is our ability to live with logical contradictions and paradoxes. I don't have to have it all figured out in order to experience life and feel the wonder and transcendence of a relationship with a good God and his magnificent creation.